we have pet lesbian snakes
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
