Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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