This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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