So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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