apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
