Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
