its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
