Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Houston, we have a squirter
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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