he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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