Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
