their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We left the knife in your bed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
