I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
