"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
