I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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