My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
