we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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