I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
