But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
her vagine was all disorganized.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
