I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
