it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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