We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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