It's just like the Real World with babies
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
