Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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