Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
