im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
