I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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