Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
