First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
