Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
