he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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