By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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