Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
