Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
