she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
