I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
