Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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