They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
