I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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