Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
