38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
