i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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