..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
