that's an acceptable place to lick
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
