She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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