Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I could fuck to npr.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
