I am in a vortex of obligation.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
