haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
