found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
