Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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