I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
